How We Roll...
On behalf of the Iron Hall may we extend a welcome to one and all - if you've found us then you're already one step closer to joining the Iron Hall and being written into legend. The HMCC was founded back in 2014 as a way of keeping charity cycling group the Heavy Metal Truants together year-round. (If you're not familiar with our work head over to www.heavymetaltruants.com and consider joining us!)
It's taken many rides, many beers, and much beard-stroking to reach the decision on whether to fling open the doors of our hall and here we are - 77 club rides and six years in, although in some sense just at the beginning of it all. And if you haven't already joined us on our Facebook or Strava group of the same name please don't hesitate to join us there.
1. Codenames? Bitching!
Can I get one?
Minion, take a breath.
There are only two ways to get a Codename and join the Iron Hall: you must ride with one of our official Road Crews (current Road Crew count: one) and buy a round. If you're a veteran Heavy Metal Truant you may make the case for being added to the Iron Hall. We may make exceptions to this rule in very special circumstances. Until then take heart: we were all minions once. Your time will come. Unclench.
2. I don't live anywhere near you -
can I start a Road Crew of my own?
Only members of the Iron Hall may apply to start their own Road Crew. That's because we model our club after the wisdom of a variety of inspirational figures including Bruce Lee, who only wanted his unique fighting style to be taught by his students, and their students. It was a way of ensuring that the original values: in our case beer, heavy metal, and cycling -
in that order - were being passed on to all who ride/fight/beer under that banner. Bruce Lee: what a legend. Go watch the Big Boss immediately.
3. Is Dokken's 1987 Back for the Attack an underrated classic?
We get asked this question all the time and while we feel the word, 'classic,' is an overused superlative better placed in marketing material than everyday critical assessments we think it's important to acknowledge that all music should be under a near-constant state of evaluation. While old and outdated narratives suggest this overlooked gem of Dokkenalia is only worth the price of admission for closing track Dream Warriors (which featured on Nightmare on Elm Street 3) and in no way scales the towering artistic heights reached by 1985's Under Lock and Key, we feel strongly that it's still a lofty artistic achievement worth celebrating.
4. Do you have a club charter like a real club?
It's under development, but all acceptable club activity all falls under the general heading of, 'don't be a dick.' If you observe someone being a dick or you suspect that you may yourself be a dick please stop it, or stop them immediately. Dickheadery can take many forms: racism, sexism, and homophobia for instance, or indeed disobeying the rules of the road or risking your or other people's safety. Please see our expanded section on dickhead avoidance measures below.
5. How can I get an HMCC jersey?
We are planning both official cyclewear for members of the Iron Hall and also for heavy metal people more generally. Until then please enjoy our dazzling merchandise range on heavymetalcycling.com
Dickhead avoidance measures
I. Ensure that your steed is in a suitable safe condition for a ride. All mechanical issues should be addressed and tire's inflated to the recommended pressure
II. Wear a helmet and ensure that helmet is in good condition, too.
III. If you have any health issues/conditions please inform club members.
IV. If you're leading a ride and are either unsure of the route or the riders following you are unsure, just wait at the next junction for the other riders to catch up. If you
V. If the group is split by a junction, find a safe spot to pull over and wait for them to catch up
VI. Drink responsibly
VII. Ensure that you carry enough water with you on rides and keep hydrated
VIII. Alway bring some basic supplies on rides:
- Snacks to keep energy levels up
- Tools in case of a puncture or breakdown.
IX. Wear suitable clothing on rides taking in to account the weather forecast.
X. Ensure that your phone is charged and has plenty of battery capacity so you can rely on it during the ride
XI. Be aware of your fellow riders if you notice a rider get into trouble stop and help them and shout to inform others that is what you are doing.
XII. If you notice a rider is missing inform the other riders, stop and wait together
XIII. Respect the rules of the road and other road users. We realise that some countries this can be a challenge due to inadequate infrastructure but do your best and remember if you're out with us, you're representing us - it's nice to be nice, hail Satan, SLAYERRR, etc.